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"Hilaire Belloc wrote several books of cautionary tales. Like 'Henry King':The Chief Defect of Henry KingWas chewing little bits of String.At last he swallowed some which tiedItself in ugly Knots inside.Physicians of the Utmost FameWere called at once; but when they cameThey answered, as they took their Fees,''There is no Cure for this Disease.''Henry will very soon be dead.His Parents stood about his BedLamenting his Untimely Death,When Henry, with his Latest Breath,Cried, ''Oh, my Friends, be warned by me,That Breakfast, Dinner, Lunch, and TeaAre all the Human Frame requires...With that, the Wretched Child expires.That was always my favorite one." Wonderful! I'll have to look them up."After we got seated, Henry said: "I have a personal question. May I?" Of course," Rachel responded."Would either of you object if I called Patrick's sister?" Why would we object?" You might not have noticed, but I'm not a European." You might not have noticed," Rachel retaliated, "but neither am I. My. For some reason their daughter, Millie, had a blood test; they found Millie’s blood group didn’t fit with their own. The fear was that Millie had been swapped in the hospital, so they had DNA tests done.The first I knew of the results was a wild-eyed brother on my doorstep, with a sobbing wife behind. I managed to dodge the right hook, but the left jab caught me in the gut, and I sank to the floor.Half an hour later my wife’s skills in conflict management were being tested to the limit. Sarah was Millie’s mother, no doubt about that, but Millie’s father was a close relative of Mark, a sibling most likely. There is only Mark and I, so I was the culprit.It didn’t matter how much Sarah and I denied it, and how many dates and diaries we checked, Mark was adamant, I had screwed his wife, and she had my child.The next time Mark and I met, we were sitting in the hospital consultant’s office, with a security guard standing purposefully behind us..“I have a strange request gentlemen, but.
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